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Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Disgusted nurse gets just desserts

More escapades in the life of the nurse who found the idea of people with diabetes injecting in restaurants abhorrent. Imagine if, one evening, she was in a restaurant that just happened to be filled with insulin-dependent diabetics…imagine her horror…!

Disgusted nurse gets just desserts

The scene: Luigi’s restaurant in downtown Birkenhead,
Full of hungry diners all waiting to be fed,
And there, amongst their number, a very special guest,
The nurse who failed her 101 would face another test…

The customers chatted pleasantly, as wine was passed around,
Our nurse was unaware of how her evening would be crowned…
A secret nod, a knowing wink, would all ensure the plan
Co-ordinated smoothly by each woman and each man.

Spaghetti carbonara and lasagne were brought in,
And all at once was silence – you could have heard a pin!
The nurse’s ears pricked up to hear a host of tiny clicks
As a hundred insulin users prepared to take their fix…!

Airshot after airshot was squirted in the air,
Like tiny dancing fountains from each and every chair!
And then the men exposed the flesh that lay beneath their shirts,
The ladies smiled as they pulled down the waistband of their skirts!

The nurse just stared in horror as the needles all went in,
And pierced the fatty layers that lay beneath the skin!
Well, then she just exploded, it was more than she could stand!
And now she’s pushing daisies up in Nighty-night Nurse Land!

Monday, 15 June 2009

Nurse Unbalanced

Diabetes UK took the rather unwise (in my opinion) editorial decision to allow further space in their ‘Balance’ magazine for the nurse who had previously ranted against people with diabetes injecting in restaurants. In this latest letter she reached a new level of apoplexy, insulting, deriding and attacking those who had responded to her original tirade of vitriolic nonsense. I think the thing that hurt most people that I have spoken to was that DUK should choose to perpetuate her views in a publication whose intent should surely be to provide support and backing for people with diabetes. Moreover, the fact that the letter writer was a nurse (thankfully now retired), might have suggested a greater tolerance and more caring attitude.

This is what I expect in the next issue of Balance from ‘the Nurse’ who will no doubt by then be afforded her own regular column in which she can freely castigate those self-centred junkie diabetics…

You can’t be human if you think
Injecting where I eat and drink
Is something that you can’t avoid,
You’re junkies and you’re paranoid!

And don’t tell me to look away,
I’m nosy and I’ll have my say!
You might as well just slit your throat,
Or hang a sacrificial goat!

Would you display your toilet parts?
Or fill the room with noisy farts?
Or flick your bogies round the room?
You diabetics make me fume!

Of all these things that trouble me –
All anti-social you’ll agree,
But diabetics shooting up
Wins the ‘Nurse Disgusted’ Cup!

So thank you Balance for this page,
Where I can vent my frequent rage,
I’m sure your readers all agree
They’re all disgusting, just like me!